Someone recently told me that you are either born with an old soul or you stay a child forever. I actually think there is some truth to that, as I know people on both sides of the spectrum. For me, I really think I was born with an old soul. I remember even when I was younger, my interests were well beyond my years. I loved British culture, Anne of Green Gables was my spirit animal, the Golden Girls' lifestyle seemed pretty stellar and Oprah's ability to inspire and influence others was something I aspired to. (Because I obviously came home and watched her show every day at 4PM EST, asked for her 20th anniversary DVD collection for Christmas and cried when her last episode aired. Ahemmmmm.) When everyone else was figuring out which Spice Girl they liked best, I was teaching myself a British accent so that my Florence Nightingale biography presentation in the 3rd grade would be "authentic".
Yeah, I was a weird girl.
Some people hate the idea of growing older. Honestly, I think it's refreshing. This new year - the year of 28 - feels like I've actually arrived at the age I was born to be. Thinking like a 28-year old when you're 14 isn't cool. But thinking like a 28-year old when you're 28, well, it finally means I may be living a bit more in the Present instead of the Future.
Reflecting back, 27 was a funky year. In last year's post, I prayed 27 would bring adventure. I think God saw that and said, "Haha child. Your wish is my command!" (Be careful what you pray for, friends.)
And an adventure it has been.
I packed up and finally got the heck out of New York. I did love my time there, I promise. But like all tumultuous relationships, we still need a bit more separation until we meet again.
I moved South, something I've been trying to do since college. Clearly, Place is important to me.
I learned the heartbreaking truth of "Right guy + Wrong time = Wrong Guy." Dating is risky and messy and doesn't come in a perfectly wrapped package. But at the same time, falling for someone is the best risk you can take. (It was the best risk I took this year.) ...even if it leaves you in a puddle at the end. For especially in the puddle, Jesus will meet you while your head's down, write something redeeming in the mud, clean you off and sit you upright. It may sting. There may be residue. Perhaps even some I-need-to-go-to-a-kickboxing-class kind of anger or some tear-and-mascara-stained-pillowcase kind of sadness. But He's there to scrape the dirt away, reminding you exactly who you are and how to move on.
I lost my job which obviously hit my pride. Yet, in the same uneasy exhale, I saw God show me precisely how He would provide in all times. And not just for my emotional and spiritual needs. He would provide in real, tangible, monetary ways. He is a provider.
I launched a business full-time, praying it would work and would continue to work. For once, I didn't have a clear plan - just a lot of dreams I'm barely starting to stitch together.
I'm having to make all new friends. Making friends as an adult in a new city is HARD. What I'm learning is that you've got to be open, willing to say yes and network for friends. Yup, I'm using my career coaching networking strategies to make friends. Don't judge. It's working people!
Basically throughout all of this God was saying, "Alright do you trust me in all this change?" And it was weird, because though I've had the most spiritually dry year ever, I did believe it to be 100% true. What other choice did I have? Nothing I could do could stop the momentum, the flux, the uncertainty. It just was. I was completely out of my comfort zone. And sometimes it's just best to let go and let God do His thing. Plus, He's not really into meddlers. And sometimes, well, I can be the Queen of Meddlers.
For 28, I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful that God will move, make His glory known and redeem broken things in my life. I'm praying for more joy, a bit less worry. For more stability and less anxiety through the inevitable instability.
But most of all I pray for BOLDNESS. To truly embrace who I am, who God made me to be. That I sink into what He has for me right now, soak that up and wade confidently forward...even when the waters look a little murky.